Alter Egos

So this weekend was kinda busy, and I got distracted by an old video game that I had:  Sims 2. 

I did manage to finally get exalted with the Kalu’ak on Elgar, it was one of his long-term goals that I always neglected.  It is probably going to be his last hurrah achievement as tonight I have cleaning of the guild bank and personal banks to do and a friend is coming over so we’ll probably be rerolling for fun.  Tomorrow is the big Cataclysm, and there will be too much to do with that.  I better remember to pick up a copy.  So the final item on my to do list is purchase Cataclysm.

On Friday I wrote a post about GearScore and epeen, but after reading it to myself a few times, I decided that guild members might take it offensively so I have decided not to post it.  Instead I will say that I am looking forward to Cataclysm where 25-man and 10-man loot is the same. 

And though none of you play the Sims 2 or even if you did you probably play WoW most the time (I like to take breaks for other games as well:  Civ 4, Sims 2/3, Warcraft 3, SimCity 4), I am going to share some of the hilariousness of that game.  That game is really centered around the relationships and life of your characters.  I made three college characters; brothers: Elgar and Ross Winterhoof, and their roommate Monona Floy.  Elgar majored in Biology as it seemed like what priests might need to heal, Ross majored in psychology as it seemed like something maybe warlocks would know, and Monona majored in art, because mages like pretty things…though maybe physics would have been more appropriate. 

It was funny in college as Ross didn’t get along with anyone else in the dorm and on his own free will started beating people up and shoving them around, on account that he had few niceness points.  Warlocks should be mean.  Elgar seemed to get along with everyone, and Monona wanted to sleep with everyone…especially the school mascot and the dormitory maid.  Ross didn’t have many friends, and at the suggestion of my roommate, we had him talk lots with the lunch lady.  Eventually she convinced me to flirt with her.  She didn’t like it.  But after much persistence warmed up to him and then we had them kiss.  She got the first kiss memory icon above her head and my roommate was so happy because clearly she had lived a sad life alone serving college kids lunch and now some young guy came along and made her happy.  I wanted to barf.

Elgar’s story was pretty un-eventful.  Monona however didn’t take long to improve her grades from talking and later sleeping with her professor.  The dorm rooms are quite small, so whenever she had a gentlemen-caller we had to clear out the room to buy a double bed for the big show.  Bored with the professor, she soon started making out with the school mascot, which was really odd since he had a giant llama outfit and head on.  After sleeping with him, (he finally took the head off) he hung around the dorm for about 2 days doing homework and napping on the couch.  It seemed like a most awkward hook-up ever that the dude didn’t just leave the house.  Nothing but heartache for him. 

She then started to pursue (at the advice of my roommate again) the pink silk shirt wearing cleaning lady, I mean man.  They started chatting, hitting it off.  Soon he would ask to hang out after he was done working.  This worked out well and soon the make-outs were pretty consistent and finally one day he fell in love and we knew the double bed scene would be soon (also, major game flaw that you have to be in love to actually have “WooHoo”? – sometimes it just takes a few stiff drinks, let’s be honest).  So anyways, he asks to hang out, we say yes, get the bed ready and she goes to relax.  She invites him to join her.  She waits, he’s in the women’s restroom because that’s where he was cleaning when he finished work.  He’s just walking around it.  She asks him again.  No dice.  It finally dawns on me that perhaps because he’s a man, he can’t walk through the women only door to the restroom.  No worries, I’ll just remove the door and replace it with a normal door.  But hmmm, the build mode for the college doesn’t allow me to change the structure of the building.  Oh crap.  So I have her go up to him and just ask him to leave.  But he still won’t leave the bathroom.  He showers, urinates, and sleeps on the floor, then mostly just cries and paces around.  The next day, he’s still there, and a new cleaning man shows up, when he enters the ladies restroom he prays for his friend who is passed out on the floor.  We start to feel really bad.  He’s stuck there.  And in two days after being trapped in a women’s dorm room at a college, he dies.  It’s Monona’s first murder due to her sexual desire.  We are shocked, but also kinda find the whole thing tragically hilarious.  We buried him in the front yard of the dorm and put in some nice flowers.  After college, she ended up marrying the mascot and becoming a musician in a recording studio. 

We’ll see what happens next…but not this week, this week is Cataclysm.


4 Responses to “Alter Egos”

  1. repgrind Says:

    OMG that is hilarious. Poor boring Elgar. 😦
    dude, email me the gearscore post! :p

    also, wtf, posting at 5pm? I’m late getting out of work because I had to read this first!

  2. Analogue Says:

    I’d also like to see the gs post…

    That’s freaking hilarious, I had no idea the sims could do so much weirdness.

    • Troutwort Says:

      I don’t even do all the weirdness now that I used to do with the Sims 2 when I was REALLY into it. Because the children carry the ‘genetics’ of hair color, facial structure, and eye color from the parents, I used to weave red-headed people in and see when a red-headed child would show up next! I also had families of vampires, zombies, and created a house that looked like a church where all the elderly would go to live and eventually die. The graveyard out back filled up fast! I never did get a werewolf though…

      I might get brave enough to post the GearScore post.

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